Moan for me like Helen Keller
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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