scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize