I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
