They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
