She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Are we still banned from the library?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
