Heybabeimwearingurpanties
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
