So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
