And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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