the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
