So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
did i walk over a car last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
