Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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