I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
