Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
