Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
