New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize