I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
do herpes really smell.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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