Yo dont text me then not text me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
