i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize