your room smells of hookers.
And success
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
