Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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