Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
