Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
