Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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