so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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