And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
