Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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