Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
