I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
