forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
