bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
