i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
