Don't make out with my wife yet
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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