1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
