Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
