Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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