it was like his penis was on wheels.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
