we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
