Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"

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(914): View more from New York

dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.

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(702): View more from Nevada

facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me

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(985): View more from Louisiana

she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

(848): View more from New Jersey

No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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(845): View more from New York

For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.

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