it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
