I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
