somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize