You can't special order awesome
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
