You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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