I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
