He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
