i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
