Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
