Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
