My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
