Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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