yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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