we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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