Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
