You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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