My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
they need to just BURY HIM!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
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