you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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