I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
