we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
